Overall, your script has potential and there's definitely potential for a very dynamic story. The themes and message are also compelling. However, the story needs a more dynamic plot, and needs to build and build. Once you get this down, the ending won't necessarily change, but the journey of the protagonist and the events of your story will look a lot different.
When you remove the veil around earth all we are is just ants in an aquarium. Very violent army ants and to the rest of the galaxy 'nonintervention' is no longer an option.
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