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Miss Adventure feature

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#Action/Adventure #Animation

By Jonathan Barbour

Ariana Brashford, adventurer extraordinaire embarks on a globe-trotting adventure to save a young girl from a terrible curse.

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Summary

1 Reviews | 25 pages | 4 years ago | Draft 1
#animation #Comedic Moments
Ariana Brashford, adventurer extraordinaire embarks on a globe-trotting adventure to save a young girl from a terrible curse.

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Peer Reviews

Just OK. Need work.
Is the Concept strong/original? No. A daughter who is taking over her fathers legacy. Not that unusual.

Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? They are fine.

Are scenes well-written? Yes and no. it is very hard to match dialog to Action. What I'm talking about is the description of the fathers action may take longer or shorter than the narrator. Not until the introduction of CLEMENTINE FLOWERS does the (V.O.) stops. Having ARIA...
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